Military

5 Reasons Zombies Couldn’t Defeat the U.S. Military

October 10, 2020We Are The Mighty
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By Jessica Evans


So if a zombie were to come lumbering up your block right now, what would you do? Reach for your weapon? Bolt the doors and windows and stay inside? Rush to your nearest gun shop? Maybe try to make it on post? If you’ve watched even one episode of The Walking Dead, or if you’re a fan of any of the jokey zombie movies that have come out in the last few years, you and your buddies have probably spent at least one evening over beers talking about what you would do if zombies suddenly decided to rush you.


It turns out that you’re not the only one thinking about these plans. In fact, the DoD has been considering what the military should do if a zombie apocalypse were to take place.


“This plan was not actually designed as a joke.” So starts out CONPLAN 8888, better known as the Counter Zombie Dominance Plan (CZDP), unveiled by the Joint Combined Warfighting School back in 2009.


It’s easy to make fun of, for sure, but there might be some real training gems nestled inside this strange idea. The plan’s overall purpose isn’t to actually train and prepare for zombies, but what the military should do to “preserve non-zombie humans” from the very significant threats posed by a zombie horde. It’s also endearing that the DoD is thinking outside the box when it comes to training. Even more comforting is knowing that even if an army of the undead were to attack civilization, there’s no chance they’d win. Here’s why.


Aircraft

Two F-35 Lightning II’s bank after receiving fuel over the Midwest Sept. 19, 2019. The two aircraft were in route to the 158th Fighter Wing out of the Vermont Air National Guard Base, South Burlington, Vt., the first Air National Guard unit to receive the aircraft. U.S. Air Force photo by Master Sgt. Ben Mota.

No matter if we get attacked by fast or slow zombies, they’re no match for modern aircraft. Fighter jets have serious destructive potential, and they’re incredibly accurate. And since we’re pretty sure zombies never got the training on how to shelter in place, they’d probably just stand out in the open with fighter jets zipping overhead.


Body Armor

Spc. Ryan Sabinish, 134th Brigade Support Battalion, dons his individual body armor in preparation for a mission at Camp Cedar in Iraq. -photo by Staff Sgt. Mark Newsom, 134th BSB.

This goes without saying but putting on your gear will definitely help prevent you and your buddies from being bitten by zombies. In most zombie scenarios, they’re limited to human strength, so we’re pretty sure they can’t chew through your IOTV.


Landmines

Soldiers with 8th Infantry Regiment, Japan Ground Self-Defense Force, conduct mine sweeping techniques during Forest Light Middle Army in Aibano Training Area, Shiga, Japan, Dec. 6, 2019. U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. D’Angelo Yanez

Landmines are nothing to mess with, but fortunately, most humans know to stay away from minefields once the first device is detonated. We’re counting on zombies not being so smart and would expect them to continue navigating the field, even while the mines exploded all around them. And since zombies are fairly easy to predict, herding them into minefields could be an effective way to deal with them.


Machine Guns

U.S. Army Cpl. Brandon Chadwick fires the M240 machine gun during weapons training on Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst, N.J., Nov. 6, 2018. Chadwick is assigned to the 44th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, A Company, 1-114th Infantry Regiment. U.S. Air National Guard photo by Master Sgt. Matt Hecht

Mass charges are all zombies really do. They overrun their target and bite them until they become zombies too. Machine gun fire would put a stop to that quickly.


Tanks

U.S. Army Soldiers assigned to 1st Battalion, 37th Armor Regiment, 2nd Armored Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division move to their objective in an M1A2 Tank during Decisive Action Rotation 20-01 at the National Training Center in Fort Irwin, Calif., October 4, 2019. U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Nathan Franco, Operations Group, National Training Center.

This one is pretty obvious, but so often overlooked in a takeover of the undead scenario. The truth is that the explosive firepower of tanks means that very few zombies could survive an attack. Even if ammo was low, tanks could easily just run over swarms of zombies, fixing the problem.


Training against fake nations and fake enemies is nothing new


CZDP explores what would happen after a political fallout, a broken chain of command, and a target-rich environment, as would happen if zombies were to suddenly take over the earth. It’s just like when the military issues training guides to combat fictional nations like the “Pineladians” or the “Krasnovians,” both fictional countries the military trains to fight against.


Fictional countries the military trains to fight aren’t new. In fact, it’s a standard part of lots of military training. Zombies aside, the military does this by design – in part to ensure that they don’t set off any political red flags by having our service members train against nation-states, and because it helps things stay light in the face of what could be some really dark scenarios.


Of course, the Pentagon doesn’t actually believe that a zombie takeover is likely, but the training for battling the undead is remarkably useful for other training events. And, since the training manual is so absurd, students at the Joint Warfighters College actually paid attention, were engaged in the lesson, and explored the basic concepts of planning and order development – all very important things for the future leaders of the military.


This article was originally published on We Are The Mighty. Follow @WeAreTheMighty on Twitter. 


We Are The Mighty
We Are The Mighty

We Are The Mighty is a veteran-led digital publisher and Emmy-award-winning media agency servicing brands with video production, marketing, advertising, and consulting services to engage with the military community. In addition to our digital publisher, we also run the Military Influencer Conference, the largest in-person event servicing our military community. WATM is owned by Recurrent Ventures and is a GSA approved vendor.


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