Kim Jong Un and North Korea pulled an absolute Kyle with this one.
In an event that can most aptly be described as Jackass meets adult taekwondo class, the North Korean government recently released a show-of-force video that has absolutely no experts anywhere concerned.
In the video, several shirtless North Korean soldiers can be seen performing various stunts, including hitting each other with sledgehammers, lying on nails and broken glass (not trying to kink-shame anyone here), and beating each other with sticks — all things US Marines do on a daily basis.
The only thing missing in this video is a Papa Roach soundtrack and whatever stepdad pissed the soldiers off enough to ignite this wanton destruction of building supplies. This video was one fist-through-drywall away from getting the Monster logo tattooed somewhere on its body.
The video also showcases some knife throwing, which hasn’t been used on the battlefield in about 1,000 years (don’t tell North Korea), and a terrible self-defense demonstration where a soldier attempts to block thrown knives with a backpack. This is actually a great idea, as you will have a convenient place to store your severed fingers afterward. Good thinking!
Kim Jong Un (looking kind of stoically aroused?) applauds amid a sea of elderly generals and other service members, whom we assume the chubby dictator ordered to attend or be executed. Everyone seems like he’s really enjoying the show, as ordered, and the “Dear Respected Leader” can be seen laughing on several occasions as he ponders his next human rights violation, or so we assume.
Although we’re not entirely sure how this video proves any type of military capability, it does prove that North Korean soldiers would be super deadly to fight at a hardware store. There’s also a pretty sweet parkour stunt at about 1:25 where a guy dives over a car, although it would have been way cooler if he’d jumped it with a skateboard.