“I’ve got nothing against cops. … It’s just not for me,” says Marine who definitely won’t become a cop when he gets out. US Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Matthew Callahan.
CAMP LEJEUNE, NC — Lance Cpl. Scott Miller, a South Dakota native who got an ASVAB waiver to join the infantry and regularly struggles to pay attention during 15-minute PowerPoint presentations, recently told his peers he planned on using his Post 9/11 GI Bill to go to college. “The Marine Corps has given me a lot of tools to be successful after service. Right now I’m planning on being a respiratory therapist, but I’ve also tossed around the idea of working in IT if that doesn’t pan out,” Miller, whose phone password is a bunch of ones, said, insisting he won’t work in law enforcement like every other Marine grunt in history. “Yeah, I know a lot of guys get out and work in law enforcement. I’ve got nothing against cops. It’s a noble career, and I’m a sheepdog myself. It’s just not for me; I definitely won’t be a cop when I get out.” At press time, Miller was hazing a boot private and screaming in his face about the need to respect his authority.
In case you haven’t figured it out, this is a work of satire. Although highly believable, the events portrayed here are fictional.
Read Next:
Eric Miller is a former Army Combat Medic from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He holds a bachelor’s degree in history and has worked with homeless populations and veteran services throughout the state. He is an avid outdoorsman and has recently become interested in woodworking.
Nondice Thurman, a spokesperson for Fort Campbell, said Thursday morning that the deaths happened the previous night in southwestern Kentucky during a routine training mission.
Master Sgt. Richard Stayskal was diagnosed with lung cancer long after military doctors missed a tum...
After living in and reporting from Ukraine the last nine years, conflict journalist Nolan Peterson h...
With bandaged heads and splinted limbs, the wounded soldiers are stretchered into the waiting medica...
While it’s not the first time the U.S. and Iran have traded airstrikes in Syria, the attack and the ...
"The Gift" tells the story of the first Marine to receive the Medal of Honor after the Vietnam War. ...
The U.S. Navy's 7th Fleet said that a statement from China's Southern Theatre Command that it had fo...
For the first time, a team of (mostly) US veterans and active-duty service members will run in The S...
