Great, Now the Russians Have Lightsabers

January 25, 2022Mac Caltrider

Tanks, bombers, and now lightsabers. The Russians have it all. Composite by Coffee or Die Magazine.

With the threat of a Russian invasion of Ukraine looming like a storm cloud over Eastern Europe, international relations are a bit tense. Now, in addition to fielding the most tanks of any nation in the world, Russia apparently has lightsabers, too. 

In a video posted by YouTuber Alex Burkan, the Russian hobbyist revealed what is officially the world’s first retractable lightsaber. He received the Guinness World Record for his creation, which appears to contain enough power to cut through metal. The “lightsaber” is not quite up to Jedi standards, as it only burns for 30 seconds. It’s essentially a giant, self-contained blowtorch. 

Burkan’s not the only sabersmith out there making Jedi weapons in his garage. James Hobson of Hacksmith Industries created an even cooler version, though it requires the wielder to wear a backpack containing liquid propane and oxygen to power the device. 

So, while Burkan’s creation is a dream come true for Star Wars nerds, it’s not quite “an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.” Sure, it can melt the lock off a door and looks cool, but Han Solo was right about lightsabers. Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.

Read Next: Israel Says Captured Spy Dolphin Lived and Died by His Own Rules

Mac Caltrider
Mac Caltrider

Mac Caltrider is a senior staff writer for Coffee or Die Magazine. He served in the US Marine Corps and is a former police officer. Caltrider earned his bachelor’s degree in history and now reads anything he can get his hands on. He is also the creator of Pipes & Pages, a site intended to increase readership among enlisted troops. Caltrider spends most of his time reading, writing, and waging a one-man war against premature hair loss.

More from Coffee or Die Magazine
dear jack mandaville
Dear Jack: Which Historic Battle Would You Want To Witness?

Ever wonder how much Jack Mandaville would f*ck sh*t up if he went back in time? The American Revolution didn't even see him coming.

west point time capsule
West Point Time Capsule Yields Centuries-Old Coins

A nearly 200-year-old West Point time capsule that at first appeared to yield little more than dust contains hidden treasure, the US Military Academy said.

Ouija Board aircraft carrier
Low-Tech ‘Ouija Boards’ Have Helped Aircraft Carriers Operate for Decades

Since the 1920s, a low-tech tabletop replica of an aircraft carrier’s flight deck has been an essential tool in coordinating air operations.

Army vs. Navy mascot
The Navy Goat vs. the Army Mule: Mascot Origin Stories

For nearly as long as the Army-Navy football rivalry, the academies’ hoofed mascots have stared each other down from the sidelines. Here are their stories.

ukraine long-range weapon
Zelenskyy Says Ukraine Has Developed a Long-Range Weapon, a Day After Strike Deep Inside Russia

Zelenskyy said on his Telegram channel the weapon was produced by Ukraine’s Ministry of Strategic Industries but gave no other details.

7 of the Best Movie Ambush Scenes of All Time

Ambushes make for great action scenes. Here are seven of the best to ever grace the big screen.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, center, with his daughter, center right, reportedly named Ju Ae, review the honor guard during their visit to the navy headquarter in North Korea
North Korea Launches Missile Toward Sea After US Flies Bomber During Drills

South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff said in a statement that the launch occurred Wednesday but gave no further details, such as how far the missile flew.

  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Careers
Contact Us
Contact Us
© 2023 Coffee or Die Magazine. All Rights Reserved