Military

10 Hilarious Photos of Service Members Immediately Regretting Their Decisions

April 21, 2022Eric Miller
humor

A picture is worth a thousand words. In this instance, all 1,000 of those words are “fuck.” US Air Force photo by Senior Airman Christina Russo.

Now don’t let the title confuse you — we think military service is a great thing. There is no higher calling or more noble deed than being of service to others, and the men and women who choose to do so are truly the best of us. While military service is an honorable profession, sometimes people forget that it is still a profession. And just like in any other job, sometimes you have shitty days that make you second-guess signing on the dotted line.


Military service is tough, and you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t have a few moments in your career where you thought, “What the fuck am I doing here?” Every service member has his moments of doubt. It happens. However, not every service member is photographed during those moments of deep regret — but some are, and frankly, the photos are pure gold.


Here are 10 photos of service members (likely) regretting their decisions.


Drown-Proofing, Marine Corps Style


Service
Join the Marine Corps — getting choked out above water is for pussies. US Marine Corps photo by Pfc. Samwel Tobancay.

The Marine Corps is known for its tough training. Apparently, this brave Marine signed up for “Experience Your Worst Nightmare Level 1,” and you can see the regret in her eyes. We heard that Level 2 is getting choked out while on fire.


Between a Ruck and a Hard Place


Service
Look at that. Not an ounce of “Hooah” left in this man. Hang in there, brother. US Army photo by Spc. Darius Davis.

The military is all about efficiency, which is why you made this exact face every time you pulled your ruck off a perfectly good truck and carried it to a destination you could have just driven to. Efficiency.


Pushing Through the Pain


regretting decisions
A sailor experiences what appears to be a mental breakdown mid-pushup. Either that, or he trusted a fart he shouldn’t have. US Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Justin Stack.

Pushups have the weird ability to both increase your chest strength while also making you regret every decision you ever made that led you to doing them. Do enough pushups and you’ll regret being born.


What’s in the Burger?


Service
Have you ever wondered why you never see cats on military installations? US Army photo by Pfc. Brittany Dempsey.

There are two questions you never ask in the military: “Is there anything else to do?” and “What’s this made out of?” Just shut up, eat your catwich, and try to look busy when the CO walks by.


Here’s Pie in Your Eye


Service
A soldier experiencing severe trauma, and pie, during a mandatory fun event. US Army photo by Sgt. Evangelia Grigiss.

Family Readiness Groups do great things for service members’ families. They put a lot of effort into making events fun and enjoyable for both service members and their families, which is to be commended. That being said, there is also a dark reality to FRG events that no one talks about.


Hundreds, if not thousands, of junior enlisted service members are regularly dunked, pied, and otherwise riddled with silly string and glitter against their wills during these events. It’s a heinous practice that can lead to lasting complications for the Joes. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get glitter off a military uniform?


A Shocking Experience


Service
A Marine after being hit with extra duty. US Marine Corps photo by Sgt. Erik Estrada.

Your recruiter likely did an excellent job selling your career choice to you without mentioning any of the job-specific hazards that come along with it. Case in point, MPs in the military have to be tasered themselves to receive Taser certification. Is it worth it? For us, yes. Thank you for your sacrifice.


Lending a Hand


Service
The military gives you all the tools you need to be successful. Whether you use those tools is on you. US Air National Guard photo by Tech. Sgt. De-Juan Haley.

Okay, we’re not entirely sure why this service member elected to cover just one eye. Maybe it’s part of the drill, but you can tell by her “Well, shit” expression how much it helped.


Choking Under Pressure


regretting decisions
A rare photo of a Marine being choked above water. US Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Leslie Alcaraz.

You can tell by this Marine’s expression that he’s in the throes of deep regret … or he’s passing out. Who knows? Rumor has it that the Marine choking him completed “Experience Your Worst Nightmare Level 3 — Paper Cut Fighting.” He’s not a man to be messed with.


Teamwork Makes the Dream Work


regretting decisions
A Marine recruit struggles to carry the immense burden of a six-year enlistment. Photo by Ethan E. Rocke/Coffee or Die Magazine.

And in this case, the dream looks a bit more like a nightmare. Like we said before, the military is all about efficiency. Why use two sets of legs when you could use just one?


Nose Goes


regretting decisions
A soldier closes his eyes and imagines being handed his DD Form 214 as a nasopharyngeal airway gently tickles the back of his throat. US Army photo by Sgt. Hyeongmin Lee.

As a former medic, I can personally attest to seeing numerous soldiers consider running away to Mexico after receiving an NPA. Personally, I’d say it’s not that bad after your 10th or 11th time doing it. By then, your nose, gag reflex, and soul have become completely desensitized to it and everything else.


Read Next: Navy EOD Officer Dies During Training in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii



Eric Miller
Eric Miller

Eric Miller is a former Army Combat Medic from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He holds a bachelor’s degree in history and has worked with homeless populations and veteran services throughout the state. He is an avid outdoorsman and has recently become interested in woodworking.

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