SNL’s ‘Dog Head Man’ Hilariously Skewers American Defense Spending, Oversight

November 23, 2021Eric Miller
Dog Head Man

Never has a soldier been so lethal yet so adorable. Screenshot from YouTube.

A Saturday Night Live skit that aired Nov. 20 is an eerily accurate — and kind of adorable — take on how defense spending works in the United States. 

The skit features a US Army general, played by Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings star Simu Liu, as he briefs an unidentified cabinet secretary (Cecily Strong) and a US senator (James Austin Johnson) on the outcome of a $500 million defense project. 

Liu’s Pentagon-brass caricature reveals that the Department of Defense used the American people’s massive investment to develop “Dog Head Man” by fusing a dog’s head with a human body and then slapping a gas station camouflage hoodie on it. All things considered, this seems pretty spot on. 

Dog Head Man is presented as a highly capable soldier, and he immediately demonstrates this by assembling a rifle in 11 seconds, crushing the Air Force’s all-time record for assembly by an entire 15 minutes (probably).  

Missing the entire point and skillfully avoiding asking any questions relevant to the matter, the senator’s main concern is to understand how and where Dog Head Man shits, which seems like a fairly accurate depiction of the type of thoughtful insight we expect from US senators who oversee defense spending. 

Madam Secretary quickly dismisses the senator’s concerns before asking why the general and the lead scientist (Mikey Day) refer to Dog Head Man as “girl.” The scientist then explains that they somehow successfully affixed a female dog’s head to a human male’s body. I’m not sure how no one made a “son of a bitch” joke in light of this information. 

When she’s tasked with disarming a bomb, Dog Head Man gets easily distracted by a sandwich, which might be the most Army thing we’ve ever seen. America’s newest good-boy super soldier ultimately gives the bomb a quick lick, as is customary of most engineers, before defusing it. 

Madame Secretary responds to the Dog Head Man demonstration with extreme disappointment — until she learns China has already manufactured several of the hybrid soldiers and suddenly jumps on board, which feels like a highly accurate rendition of how American defense spending works.

Read Next: ‘Moon Knight’ Teaser Gives 1st Look at Oscar Isaac as Marine Turned Gritty Marvel Hero

Eric Miller
Eric Miller

Eric Miller is a former Army Combat Medic from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He holds a bachelor’s degree in history and has worked with homeless populations and veteran services throughout the state. He is an avid outdoorsman and has recently become interested in woodworking.

More from Coffee or Die Magazine
BRCC Limited Edition Josh Raulerson Blackbeard Skull Shirt
From Naval Service to Creative Canvas: BRCC Veteran Artist Josh Raulerson

Coffee or Die sits down with one of the graphic designers behind Black Rifle Coffee's signature look and vibe.

Medal of Honor is held up.
Biden Will Award Medal of Honor to Army Helicopter Pilot Who Rescued Soldiers in Vietnam Firefight

Biden will award the Medal of Honor to a Vietnam War Army helicopter pilot who risked his life to save a reconnaissance team from almost certain death.

dear jack mandaville
Dear Jack: Which Historic Battle Would You Want To Witness?

Ever wonder how much Jack Mandaville would f*ck sh*t up if he went back in time? The American Revolution didn't even see him coming.

west point time capsule
West Point Time Capsule Yields Centuries-Old Coins

A nearly 200-year-old West Point time capsule that at first appeared to yield little more than dust contains hidden treasure, the US Military Academy said.

Ouija Board aircraft carrier
Low-Tech ‘Ouija Boards’ Have Helped Aircraft Carriers Operate for Decades

Since the 1920s, a low-tech tabletop replica of an aircraft carrier’s flight deck has been an essential tool in coordinating air operations.

Army vs. Navy mascot
The Navy Goat vs. the Army Mule: Mascot Origin Stories

For nearly as long as the Army-Navy football rivalry, the academies’ hoofed mascots have stared each other down from the sidelines. Here are their stories.

ukraine long-range weapon
Zelenskyy Says Ukraine Has Developed a Long-Range Weapon, a Day After Strike Deep Inside Russia

Zelenskyy said on his Telegram channel the weapon was produced by Ukraine’s Ministry of Strategic Industries but gave no other details.

  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Careers
Contact Us
Contact Us
© 2023 Coffee or Die Magazine. All Rights Reserved