Humor

Butt-Pucker Factor 10/10: Ukrainian Minivan Narrowly Dodges Russian Guided Missile

September 14, 2022Eric Miller
Minivan Rocket

Screenshot of the exact moment everyone in that minivan shit their pants. Screenshot from Twitter post.

A video uploaded to Twitter Wednesday, Sept. 14, appears to show a butt-puckering near-miss moment involving an anti-tank missile that malfunctioned after it was fired by Russian soldiers at a minivan somewhere in Ukraine.

While shooting a minibus with an anti-tank missile might seem like overkill, it’s important to remember that Russia’s heavy armor forces have been pummeled in battle by mere tractors, so their immense fear of any vehicle larger than a sedan is understandable. It’s still a dick move though. Moving on.

According to the caption on the video, the missile fired from the 9K111 Fagot (don’t look at us … we didn’t name it) missed its mark due to its guidance cables snapping.


The 9K111 is a Soviet-era semi-automatic, wire-guided anti-tank missile system. (The technical term is “semi-automatic command to line of sight,” aka SACLOS.) Missiles fired from the 9K111 are guided by small wires connected to a guidance system that unfurl behind the projectile as it flies toward its target, much like the TOW missiles utilized by the United States military.

The minivan is a bulky, slow-moving vehicle universally loved by soccer moms and creepy dudes who shouldn’t be allowed near playgrounds. It is unclear who was driving the one seen in this video, but whoever it was, apparently God loves them.

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Eric Miller
Eric Miller

Eric Miller is a former Army Combat Medic from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He holds a bachelor’s degree in history and has worked with homeless populations and veteran services throughout the state. He is an avid outdoorsman and has recently become interested in woodworking.

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