Military

Our Founding Fathers Make Vladimir Putin Look like a Puny Little Putz

March 12, 2022Coffee or Die
Trying too hard? Russian President Vladimir Putin sunbathes during his vacation in the remote Tuva region in southern Siberia. The picture taken between Aug. 1 and 3, 2017. (Photo by Alexey Nikolsky/ SPUTNIK / AFP via Getty Images.

Trying too hard? Russian President Vladimir Putin sunbathes during his vacation in the remote Tuva region in southern Siberia. The picture taken between Aug. 1 and 3, 2017. (Photo by Alexey Nikolsky/ SPUTNIK / AFP via Getty Images.

President Vladimir Putin of Russia loves shows of machismo. He constantly pumps up his swagger. He is wont to disparage women. And he has repeatedly appeared on the public stage bare-chested or as a formidable judo athlete.


Putin likely carries out such performances for a series of reasons: to reassure himself that he belongs to a group of famous strongmen; to demonstrate his theory that a good leader is one who thrives on flamboyant, unchecked virility; and to show his constituents – including many international acolytes – that male authority isn’t really under threat.


You might laugh at such childish and cartoonish convictions and attitudes. But attitudes sometimes are not just a matter of personal style or political opportunism; they can lead to dramatic global consequences, such as Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.


Looking at Putin, you could make the case that machismo results in war: For these types of men and leaders, a war seems to offer the ultimate test in masculinity.


Vladimir Putin
Vladimir Putin (top), then Russia’s prime minister, takes part in a judo training session during a visit to St Petersburg on Dec. 18, 2009. Alexey Druzhinin/RIA NOVOSTI/AFP via Getty Images and The Conversation.

On the battlefield


The American founders were often misogynists and racists. They could be reckless and brutal. But they didn’t crave wars just to prove that they were real men.


It’s true that Alexander Hamilton once made a shocking confession to a friend, “I wish there was a War.” But that’s precisely the point: He was a 12-year-old boy when he wrote that, not yet a man.


None of the founders were pacifists. Together they built a navy and an army. They studied the art of war by reading Julius Caesar or Humphrey Bland, author of a popular “Treatise of Military Discipline.” They all accepted wars as a necessity, especially when every other option was impractical.


Moreover, they saw war as inevitable because they didn’t trust human nature: “This pugnacious humor of Mankind,” Thomas Jefferson wrote, “seems to be the law of his nature.”


Vladimir Putin
A local volunteer lies dead after the the Russian army shelled an evacuation point in Irpin, Ukraine, on March 6, 2022. Diego Herrera/Europa Press via Getty Images and The Conversation.

“So strong is this propensity of mankind to fall into mutual animosities,” James Madison had already declared, that “the most frivolous and fanciful distinctions have been sufficient to kindle their unfriendly passions and excite their most violent conflicts.”


The majority of the founders also didn’t shelter in their palaces, as Putin has done, seated at an impossibly long table. “I had 4 Bullets through my Coat, and two Horses shot under me,” George Washington wrote after the battle of the Monongahela River in 1755. “Death was levelling my companions on every side of me.”


Washington, Hamilton and others could be easily found on actual battlefields where countless horrors took place.


Vladimir Putin
George Washington, appointed commander-in-chief of the Continental army, took command of a ragtag force of some 17,000 men in July 1775. He kept an army together for the next eight-and-a-half years-losing more battles than he won-but effectively ended the war with his victory at Yorktown in October 1781. This 1785 portrait by Robert Edge Pine is now in the National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian Institution.

On May 31, 1777, William Martin, lieutenant of Oliver Spencer’s Additional Continental Regiment, for instance, was ambushed by a British-Hessian unit near Bound Brook, New Jersey. Wounded, he asked for clemency, but to no avail. He was “butchered with the greatest cruelty,” wrote one observer. He was bayoneted about 20 times. His nose was cut off and his eyes yanked out.


Washington ordered some soldiers to bring Martin’s body to his headquarters. He had the body washed and shown as proof of the enemy’s inhumanity and lack of virility. Eventually, he sent the body to the British commander, General Cornwallis.


Vladimir Putin
George Washington and five of his officers tour a snowy Valley Forge, the headquarters for the Continental Army in 1777 and 1778 during the Revolutionary War. More than 2,500 American soldiers died during the winter from exposure and starvation. A Herline and Company chromolithograph by Edward Moran based on Veron Fletcher’s painting, now in the Harry T. Peters “America on Stone” Lithography Collection, National Museum of American History.

‘Never crave wars’


In the 18th century, the soldier was a good example of a truly virile man, but only provided he kept acting soldierly.


Look at our enemies, Washington exclaimed in a letter to Patrick Henry; look at the spectacle of recklessness they offer. They only bring “devastation,” whether upon “defenceless towns,” or “helpless Women & Children.” His conclusion was clear: “Resentment & unsoldiery practices” have “taken place of all the Manly virtues.”


Walking the razor-thin line between real and pretended masculinity isn’t easy. But 18th-century leaders knew what had to be avoided at all costs. Only “Unmanly Men,” Benjamin Franklin realized, would “come with Weapons against the Unarmed.” They would “use the Sword against Women, and the Bayonet against young Children.”


Manly men, in fact, put up with wars; but they never crave wars, let alone provoke wars, according to the American founders. A virile man, especially a soldier, must be propelled by the vision of an intellectual, cultural and moral refinement: “I must study Politicks and War,” John Adams once wrote, so that “my sons may have liberty to study Mathematicks and Philosophy.”


A portrait of Thomas Paine (c. 1792) by Laurent Dabos, now in the National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian Institution.

Thomas Paine, the author of influential political pamphlets, would articulate the same idea: “If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.”


That inspiring image of children reaping the fruits of peace — definitely at odds with Putin’s shows of bravado through the years — is taken from the Bible. But the image has a political bent and doesn’t belong to any specific religion: People shall “beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning-hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.”


Washington, a man and a leader graced with a hefty dose of masculinity, agreed completely: “That the swords might be turned into plough-shares, the spears into pruning hooks — and, as the Scripture expresses it, the nations learn war no more.”


This story appeared first in The Conversation on March 11, 2022. The Conversation is a community of more than 135,400 academics and researchers from 4,192 institutions. 


Read Next: Feds: Putin’s Willing Spy and Secret Social Influencer in US Fled to Russia 



Coffee or Die
Coffee or Die

Coffee or Die is Black Rifle Coffee Company’s online lifestyle magazine. Launched in June 2018, the magazine covers a variety of topics that generally focus on the people, places, or things that are interesting, entertaining, or informative to America’s coffee drinkers — often going to dangerous or austere locations to report those stories.

More from Coffee or Die Magazine
dear jack mandaville
Dear Jack: Which Historic Battle Would You Want To Witness?

Ever wonder how much Jack Mandaville would f*ck sh*t up if he went back in time? The American Revolution didn't even see him coming.

west point time capsule
West Point Time Capsule Yields Centuries-Old Coins

A nearly 200-year-old West Point time capsule that at first appeared to yield little more than dust contains hidden treasure, the US Military Academy said.

Ouija Board aircraft carrier
Low-Tech ‘Ouija Boards’ Have Helped Aircraft Carriers Operate for Decades

Since the 1920s, a low-tech tabletop replica of an aircraft carrier’s flight deck has been an essential tool in coordinating air operations.

Army vs. Navy mascot
The Navy Goat vs. the Army Mule: Mascot Origin Stories

For nearly as long as the Army-Navy football rivalry, the academies’ hoofed mascots have stared each other down from the sidelines. Here are their stories.

ukraine long-range weapon
Zelenskyy Says Ukraine Has Developed a Long-Range Weapon, a Day After Strike Deep Inside Russia

Zelenskyy said on his Telegram channel the weapon was produced by Ukraine’s Ministry of Strategic Industries but gave no other details.

ambush
7 of the Best Movie Ambush Scenes of All Time

Ambushes make for great action scenes. Here are seven of the best to ever grace the big screen.

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, center, with his daughter, center right, reportedly named Ju Ae, review the honor guard during their visit to the navy headquarter in North Korea
North Korea Launches Missile Toward Sea After US Flies Bomber During Drills

South Korea’s Joint Chiefs of Staff said in a statement that the launch occurred Wednesday but gave no further details, such as how far the missile flew.

  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Careers
Contact Us
Contact Us
© 2023 Coffee or Die Magazine. All Rights Reserved