A sailor is being praised for her unique approach to shattering gender stereotypes. US Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Kelsey J. Hockenberger.
USS COLE — After years of harsh criticism and countless lectures on how the female body is not designed for the rigors of military service by middle-aged men built like SpongeBob, Petty Officer 2nd Class Kat Johnson is being praised by her command for her bravery and unconventional approach to crushing gender stereotypes.
“I don’t try to ‘shatter gender stereotypes.’ I don’t really think about that kind of stuff or pay attention to scuttlebutt. I signed up to fix radios, and I don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone beyond doing my job well,” Johnson, who just last week was accused of “tongue punching the commander’s fart box” by a bunch of people with their noses ironically lodged up each other’s asses, said.
A perfectly average sailor, Johnson makes no effort to go above and beyond in her work, doesn’t take what misogynistic idiots say to heart, and doesn’t try to compete with her male peers in PT or any other area — all qualities that her commanders say distinguish her from women who routinely work harder than average men.
“I guess it’s kind of become the norm for women in today’s military to work their asses off to dispel gender stereotypes and hang with the guys,” said Johnson, who is regularly accused of being pregnant by male peers upset that she isn’t sleeping with them. “But not me. I just do my job and mind my own business. Oh, and I like to surf.”
Johnson’s command has high hopes for her and predicts that, one day, she may be the first female service member in history to have an article written about her in which there is no mention of her gender or how she was able to overcome having ovaries to achieve something.
Satire Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It didn’t happen. While the individual pictured above is a real sailor, she is not the person depicted in this article and was not interviewed or involved in any way. If she actually is a no-nonsense sailor who doesn’t give a shit about gender stereotypes and likes surfing, that is pure coincidence.
Read Next:
Eric Miller is a former Army Combat Medic from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He holds a bachelor’s degree in history and has worked with homeless populations and veteran services throughout the state. He is an avid outdoorsman and has recently become interested in woodworking.
BRCC partners with Team Room Design for an exclusive T-shirt release!
Thirty Seconds Out has partnered with BRCC for an exclusive shirt design invoking the God of Winter.
Lucas O'Hara of Grizzly Forge has teamed up with BRCC for a badass, exclusive Shirt Club T-shirt design featuring his most popular knife and tiomahawk.
Coffee or Die sits down with one of the graphic designers behind Black Rifle Coffee's signature look and vibe.
Biden will award the Medal of Honor to a Vietnam War Army helicopter pilot who risked his life to save a reconnaissance team from almost certain death.
Ever wonder how much Jack Mandaville would f*ck sh*t up if he went back in time? The American Revolution didn't even see him coming.
A nearly 200-year-old West Point time capsule that at first appeared to yield little more than dust contains hidden treasure, the US Military Academy said.
Since the 1920s, a low-tech tabletop replica of an aircraft carrier’s flight deck has been an essential tool in coordinating air operations.