Sailor Shatters Gender Stereotypes by Not Shattering Gender Stereotypes

March 11, 2022Eric Miller

A sailor is being praised for her unique approach to shattering gender stereotypes. US Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Kelsey J. Hockenberger.

USS COLE — After years of harsh criticism and countless lectures on how the female body is not designed for the rigors of military service by middle-aged men built like SpongeBob, Petty Officer 2nd Class Kat Johnson is being praised by her command for her bravery and unconventional approach to crushing gender stereotypes.

“I don’t try to ‘shatter gender stereotypes.’ I don’t really think about that kind of stuff or pay attention to scuttlebutt. I signed up to fix radios, and I don’t feel the need to prove anything to anyone beyond doing my job well,” Johnson, who just last week was accused of “tongue punching the commander’s fart box” by a bunch of people with their noses ironically lodged up each other’s asses, said. 

A perfectly average sailor, Johnson makes no effort to go above and beyond in her work, doesn’t take what misogynistic idiots say to heart, and doesn’t try to compete with her male peers in PT or any other area — all qualities that her commanders say distinguish her from women who routinely work harder than average men.

“I guess it’s kind of become the norm for women in today’s military to work their asses off to dispel gender stereotypes and hang with the guys,” said Johnson, who is regularly accused of being pregnant by male peers upset that she isn’t sleeping with them. “But not me. I just do my job and mind my own business. Oh, and I like to surf.”

Johnson’s command has high hopes for her and predicts that, one day, she may be the first female service member in history to have an article written about her in which there is no mention of her gender or how she was able to overcome having ovaries to achieve something.

Satire Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It didn’t happen. While the individual pictured above is a real sailor, she is not the person depicted in this article and was not interviewed or involved in any way. If she actually is a no-nonsense sailor who doesn’t give a shit about gender stereotypes and likes surfing, that is pure coincidence.

Read Next: Disney Dropped Its Obi-Wan Kenobi Trailer, and It Looks Incredible

Eric Miller
Eric Miller

Eric Miller is a former Army Combat Medic from Parkersburg, West Virginia. He holds a bachelor’s degree in history and has worked with homeless populations and veteran services throughout the state. He is an avid outdoorsman and has recently become interested in woodworking.

More from Coffee or Die Magazine
US Launches Airstrikes in Syria After Drone Kills US Worker

While it’s not the first time the U.S. and Iran have traded airstrikes in Syria, the attack and the ...

March 24, 2023Associated Press
The Gift jason dunham
‘The Gift’ Explores the Life and Legacy of Medal of Honor Recipient Jason Dunham

"The Gift" tells the story of the first Marine to receive the Medal of Honor after the Vietnam War. ...

March 24, 2023Mac Caltrider
uss milius
US Denies Chinese Claim It Drove Away American Destroyer

The U.S. Navy's 7th Fleet said that a statement from China's Southern Theatre Command that it had fo...

March 23, 2023Associated Press
The Speed Project: Vet Team To Run in Lawless, Invite-Only Ultramarathon

For the first time, a team of (mostly) US veterans and active-duty service members will run in The S...

March 23, 2023Jenna Biter
uranium-based ammo ammunition Ukraine UK depleted uranium
A Look At the Uranium-Based Ammo the UK Will Send to Ukraine

The British defense ministry on Monday confirmed it would provide Ukraine with armor-piercing rounds containing depleted uranium.

March 23, 2023Associated Press
Zaporizhzhia Ukraine Russia
Ukraine: Russia Hits Apartments and Dorm, Killing Civilians

“Russia is shelling the city with bestial savagery,” President Volodymyr Zelenskyy wrote in a Telegr...

March 22, 2023Associated Press
cold brew coffee soda float
The Bitter Barista's Cold Brew Coffee Soda Float

Today, we combine the best of both worlds with this indulgent recipe, smashing together our love of coffee and ice cream with a cold brew coffee soda float!

March 21, 2023Heather Lynn
abrams tanks ukraine
US Speeds Up Abrams Tank Delivery to Ukraine War Zone

The original plan was to send Ukraine 31 of the newer M1A2 Abrams, which could have taken a year or ...

March 21, 2023Associated Press
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Careers
Contact Us
  • Request a Correction
  • Write for Us
  • General Inquiries
© 2023 Coffee or Die Magazine. All Rights Reserved